Entries Tagged 'Unserious Business' ↓

trogonometry

The science and mathematics behind how many times it is required to hit any given thing to turn it into a plane.

(Found in Henzell's learndb, grammar preserved intact.)

From rec.games.roguelike.nethack:

Some fundamentalists continue to cite the Holy Buglist as concrete evidence of the eventual Return of NetHack and the subsequent Rapture of RGRN, while others question the very historicity of the so-called "DevTeam" itself. Most rational people fall somewhere in-between.

Personally, I do think NetHack seems too complex to have come into existence without a "DevTeam," but if it does in fact exist I'm not convinced it bothers to interact with the universe it created. I remain agnostic on the issue.

The always non-citrus ephant reminded me today that I would like to make T-shirts. The problem is, of course, that I have no product or brand to attach said T-shirts to, no intention of making a terrible webcomic to give myself an excuse, and little likelihood of being in a band any time soon. Given the terrible, crawling horror that grips me at the thought of becoming famous more famous than I already am, it seems likely that my imaginary merchandise will remain imaginary forever.

My favourite Imaginary T-shirt is the one which says "I do not feel good about anything" on the front. It is probably a black T-shirt with white writing because, you know, that's what T-shirts like that look like. The thing about this T-shirt is that I usually remember that I want to make it when the sentiment is more or less accurate, but I can only envision actually wearing one in public when I am in one of those aggravatingly sunny moods that cause benevolence and goodwill to spill from my every pore. ¹

Another Imaginary T-shirt Slogan that I am very fond of is "everything is very very bad". Application as above, with the additional option of wearing it to make fun of opinionated people. I think I would also like one that said "what".

Now I have forgotten my other Imaginary T-shirt Slogans, except for the one John Campbell has already put on a T-shirt that I don't like the look of. Woe is me. If he didn't make one of the best things on the internet I would have to be cross with him.

1. That actually happens, you know. [↩]

Thanks to the generosity of friends the last time I became officially older, I recently spent a gift voucher at Amazon, an establishment I had not previously patronised.

There was an exciting pile of cardboard boxes waiting for me when I returned from Melbourne at the start of this week, but the expected contents were quite outclassed by a piece of advertising material that had been thoughtfully included:

I wonder, do they really anticipate international demand for this product? From individuals who have purchased, among other things, a vegan recipe book?

From rec.games.roguelike.nethack:

Eat what? a - the +3 blessed rustproof Magicbane
You stuff yourself and then vomit voluminously. --more--
Your intestinal flora are cancelled! --more--
You are starving to death even though your stomach is full! --more--
You die ...

"Your intestinal flora are cancelled!" That kills me. It really does.